It seems that eating more and listening to what my body wants works to be the best for me. With eating more, I also have less urges to binge eat. Of course ED had it's fair share of hell that it has given me throughout the day, I went ahead to do what was going to be fair to my body instead of what ED wants. With the total disregard for calories counting and a somewhat loosening of the fixed food timings, I feel that ED is finding it harder and harder to attack my mind. As the day progressed on today, I found that ED's presence was somewhat weaker with the passage of time. I know recovery might seem to be going well on for me now but I have to beware too. ED might just be waiting for the right moment to take me down mentally and I will absolutely not want that to happen ever. I will all the more stick to not restricting and listening to what my body wants.

On the side note, I managed to conquer my fears for sampling food given by others without regards for it's caloric amount! I had so much sampling of baked goods thanks to Marks & Spencers! I never knew how much I missed those animal shaped butter cookies from my childhood days so much! Missed it so much! After eating the butter cookies of course I was kind of going mad deep down inside due to ED and immediately felt my hand touch my tummy to check for that bulge but immediately I stopped the action, kept my composure and tried to talk to my parents about the surroundings so as to keep myself distracted from the bad feelings that ED was giving me. I bet ED was fuming! I am so incredibly happy that I chose live and chose to honour my body instead of ED's commands. I feel that if this good streak keeps on going, I might really get to the place where I can finally laugh and live life free of ED's clutches. To be happy and sad for genuine reasons and not because of constantly worrying about calories and my bulging wherever on my body. I want to be able to come to terms with being who I am and loving all of myself and accepting that even though I have my own flaws and cannot be perfect but it is exactly what I have and don't have that makes me unique because no 2 person in this world are alike. (Even identical twins have separate identities!) But of course, self-love cannot be built in a day (how I wished!) and I have to keep in mind that recovery is the road to seeing the light of happiness and freedom from ED and also at the same time I have to continue to accept that I am who I am and not try to beat myself up for not being able to measure up to the person that I think that I want to/should be.